Ah, Bridezilla is not feeling her usual perky green self this morning. So many changes are happening in life… Groomzilla and I are searching for a new underwater cave in a new island chain, while juggling our day-to-day work responsibilities and enjoying the shift to springtime water temps (finally!).
I generally like change, at least when it comes to changing caves. I like sorting through my shell collection and culling the duplicates. I loooove going through my fancy dress closet and deciding what pieces can go to my niece, Teenzilla. I don’t love the actual packing process, but I love the “spring cleaning” aspect of moving. I also love moving to a new island chain and getting to know the local monkfish, etc.
Oddly, however, this time I’m feeling pretty ambivalent about the whole process. There are delays caused by our jobs, so we can’t commit to a new cave yet, and our old cave sealord is pushing to get a new ‘zilla family in. Everything is out of my talons, sadly – so maybe that’s why I feel depressed.
Depression runs in my cold blood (thanks, Momzilla!), so I feel it every now and then, but I’ve never found a great way to stop it. Is there one? Half the time, I don’t notice it for months, because I’m just feeling sleepy or easily distracted. (I’m rarely sad, which I’ve always thought was the big glaring bioluminescent sign of depression.) Anyhoo, then I’ll have a good day and think, “Wow! Didn’t I used to be like this all the time? I must be depressed. Rats.”
So, to the point of this post’s title: Gratitude vs. Depression. I saw yet another online article (because when I’m depressed, I read silly online articles looking for a magic trick), and it said that taking the time to count your blessings is one habit of happy people. And I want to be a happy people! So here are my blessings:
1) My sweet Groomzilla. He loves me always, even when I’m stomping and smashing and screaming and breathing fire out of my face. And he loves me when I’m fussy and tired and caught up in saying negative stuff about EVERYTHING.
2) My parents, Momzilla and Dadzilla. For starters, they’re both still alive and healthy – a rare thing for ‘zillas as old as they are, having created so many wonderful eggs and nurtured them all to adulthood. And they both love me to the very best of their abilities, despite long distances and the occasional parent-daughter skirmish. I bear the scars of their upbringing, but hey, I’ve got talons too, and they bear the scars of mine – yet we still love each other. Oh, now I’ve gone and got salty tears all over my twinset.
3) My job. Of course I can’t give you details (top secret!), but I do love the work I do, and I appreciate my coworkers, who are all, to a ‘zilla, good cold-hearted beasts. In fact, one of my colleagues just came in and helped me put a lot of my concerns into perspective.
So perhaps that’s a piece of advice to add to counting one’s blessings: maybe it’s most important to talk to someone else and say, “Help me. I’m feeling so depressed.” It helps so much to know I’m not alone!
Look at that, I just got perky again! 🙂